


This Was Him

by Atumun15



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Angst, Child Abuse, Drug Abuse, Fights, Fluff, Homophobia, Letters, M/M, Mute - Freeform, Neglect, Panic Attacks, Scars, Semi Slow Burn, homeless, injuries
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-29
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-14 08:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14132553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atumun15/pseuds/Atumun15
Summary: However, the deeper they come across a presumably abandoned apartment complex, the Seungmin the school knew came out and it was scary. This was the serious, apathetic Seungmin. The one who didn’t touch or look in another’s direction. The one who seems as though they could kill anyone in just a few short seconds.This had been Kim Seungmin, the mute.





	This Was Him

**Author's Note:**

> This was edited by my lovely best friend, Ren and dedicated to my other lovely best friend, Mant. Enjoy!
> 
> Moodboard: https://twitter.com/atumun15/status/979178747193589761

_Dear Minnie,_

_I know your secret._

 

_Remember to breath okay? I’m not going to tell anyone._

 

_I just want you to know that I know you can talk. That you can sing. I heard you in the_

_chorus room during after school hours a few nights ago and I swear my heart fluttered at_

_just the sound of your tone. It was like milk and honey, silk against one’s skin, the sweet_

_smell of roses, etc. I don’t want to be too cheesy but I swear I could listen to your voice_

_for hours and hours on end._

 

_So, why are you a mute? Why do you not want people to hear your beautiful voice?_

 

_I can’t believe I still ask you questions as if you could answer, even by writing back._

 

_But now that I know yours., should I tell you mine?_

 

_-H.H._

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

It felt like his lungs were going to shrink and collapse within his torso, breaths coming out in painful, cold puffs. It felt like his head was going to spin off of his own neck due to the rapid turns and pivots. It felt like his lips were going to shatter into tiny pieces at just the mere touch of his teeth. It felt like his own tongue had been swallowed and caught at the top of his throat, unable to move down any further. It felt. It felt. It felt.

 

It felt.

 

For once in his life, he could feel the movements of everything around him. Every physical touch, taste, or smell. However, much like always, it seemed as though his thoughts and emotions ceased to exist, going unfelt unlike everything else. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to know that Kim Seungmin was having a panic attack, but not even the deepest philosopher could explain why he refused to act on it emotionally. Why his body shook but his heart and mind stayed at ease.

 

He tried not to think about it too much for the sake of his sleep schedule, but sometimes when he was supposed to feel angry or happy, there was nothing there at all. Only the unsettling, empty air in his stomach and the hairs on the back of his neck. Seungmin hadn’t always been like this, so he had a general idea of how he was to react and sometimes he gave those false reactions.

 

But Seungmin had become used to not giving answers, blank stares with a certain raise of an eyebrow becoming the reactants to anything thrown at him. Seungmin didn’t like to talk purely because no one listened. There hadn’t been a deep, traumatic event behind it even though people liked to believe so; Seungmin just chose to stop talking one day and that had been the end of it.

 

A pair of hands slammed down on Seungmin’s shoulders, and hairs stood straight on the back of his head at the mere feeling of his mother’s nails digging harshly into his skin. “Snap out of it, Kim Seungmin!” Her voice echoed in his ears, repeating over and over again like the ticking of a clock. His body didn’t react the way his mind had, the two working on entirely different cycles. She kept screaming and shaking his body, not giving him any sort of recovery time from the last scream.

 

When would she shut up?

 

His body acted before his head, hands coming up to shove her away before bolting out the door, legs kicking against the concrete ground. The cold air of the night filled his lungs, puffing them out to their normal expansion, but they crinkled shorter than they should have. He hadn’t a place in mind, a place to rest his body and let it calm down from his bi weekly accounts, but it seemed his body had as it stopped in the middle of a parking lot.

 

A honk of a car and sweet whispers that Seungmin didn’t recognize filled his head, overlapping each other until there was nothing but the sound of his breath and the gentle touch of warm fingers pressed faintly to the back of his neck. Seungmin didn’t get to see who the voices and touches belonged to, but he would forever be grateful for them, even if he hadn’t remembered them in the morning.

  
  


Everything spun around Seungmin’s head, the cold air of the early morning breathing into his lungs the moment his mouth shot open and his head lifted off of the ground. He no longer kneeled in the parking lot underneath the midnight moon but was laying on the cool grass of a park lot, not too far away from the school, under the early morning sun. His mouth fell agape as if a groan were supposed to escape but it only bubbled up in his throat and died the moment it hit his tongue. The boy managed to lift himself up so he could fully look around, knees aching at the mere touch of his hands.

 

His eyes blinked for a moment, not fully able to feel the movement of them in his sockets, but Seungmin was more curious as to how he ended up here rather than in the middle of an alley or the parking lot than the numb feeling of his upper face. Seungmin didn’t remember much from last night, not even the parking lot he had ended up in at the end of the night. The only thing that left a trace in the back of his head had been the feeling of fingers on his neck and hushed whispers against his ear. It was as if the mere touch of this person had an electric shock to it, leaving behind permanent marks on anything that had the experience of being touched. Seungmin didn’t enjoy the slight dampness behind his ear that didn’t seem to go away, especially after rubbing furiously against the skin and the soft lips that seemed to linger on the shell of his ear.

 

The thought of it sent shivers down Seungmin’s spine and he began to wonder if the person calmed him to sleep just to take advantage of him, but there had been no signs of that being the case. So, had the person just dropped him off in the park because he didn’t know where he lived? It’s not as if Seungmin could have answered him even if he had been awake. He hadn’t spoken in four years.

 

Soft vibrations shot up Seungmin’s lower half from the old, useless phone in the back of his pocket. Seungmin huffed and pulled it out before falling back against the grass and opening the many text messages he’s received.

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **Hey where are you??**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **Hyung, I stg if you decided not to show up again today >:(**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **Hyuuunnggg, Answer me! :((((**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **Ok fine, I’ll just assume you’re asleep and not feeling well for the sake of your face later :D**

 

Seungmin couldn’t help but roll his eyes and breathe slightly heavier in amusement at his… friend’s? Concern and threats. Jeongin was always a little too extra for his own good but he made up for the lack of enthusiasm on Seungmin’s part. The two weren’t really that close though. Due to Seungmin’s lack of speech, no one bothered getting to know him and talk to him, all except Jeongin, the school’s favorite talker. Jeongin got along with everyone, always managing to put a smile on their faces. He was a good kid so Seungmin wondered why he spent so much wasted time on the elder when Jeongin could be off doing his own thing.

 

 **_Mother:_ ** **Whenever you feel like coming home and being normal for once in your life, there’s food in the fridge. Your stuff is on the porch in the meantime.**

 

If Seungmin could be worried, he probably would be; his blood would have ran cold and all color would have left his face but none of that happened. Seungmin just lifted himself off of the ground and made his way home to pick up his things. Unfortunately for Seungmin, he didn’t remember the walk back very much. His head was still spinning from the events of the night before and he was stuck in this internal loop of hearing his mother’s screeches and the unknown whispers that seemingly calmed him down into a sleepy daze.

 

He managed to make his way back though, climbing the metal steps to the first floor and seeing all of his things scattered about the place, a torn and worn duffle bag sitting on top of the pile of dirty and ripped clothes. Seungmin felt his heart drop when he saw his stained school clothes, cringing at the smell of alcohol that was evident on what was supposed to be a perfectly pristine white shirt. Seungmin stuffed all of his things in the bag neatly, zipping it up carefully before throwing it over his shoulder and placing his back pack low on his shoulders.

 

Seungmin wasn’t sure if he should go to school or not, but it wasn’t as if he had anywhere else to go so he didn’t entirely see the point in skipping. Hell, he could take a shower after school and borrow a towel from Jeongin or something. He’d figure something out. So, Seungmin tugged out his phone and shot the younger a quick text, silently praying that he had an extra white button up and shoe shiners.

 

 **_Min:_ ** **Sorry. Woke up late. You don’t happen to have a white button up I can steal do you?**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **I don’t, Sorry Hyung :(**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **I can try and get one from Chan?**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **What’s your size?**

 

 **_Min:_ ** **Medium.**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **Ok! Chan hyung said he’d meet you by the school gates to give it to you. How far away are you?**

 

 **_Min:_ ** **I’m like a ten minute walk away.**

 

 **_Maknae:_ ** **Ok, stay safe hyung <3**

 

Seungmin let out a silent breath of relief, rubbing his dirty palm over his face and walking back down the steps, avoiding the meth heads who hung around at the bottom. Seungmin’s head began to clear out, able to remember more than two minutes of the walk there and came upon a very familiar campus and a silver haired boy standing at the front. It had taken a second for Chan to realize that Seungmin stood two feet away from him and nearly jumped out of his shiny shoes when he glanced up from his phone. “Jesus, You scared me. You’re Seungmin, correct? Jeongin’s friend?” Seungmin nodded his head, even if him and Jeongin weren’t necessarily friends.

 

Chan handed over the button up with a kind smile, Seungmin bowing in thanks and trying to walk away but Chan was quick to stop him, “Hey wait up!” Seungmin stopped and swiveled on his feet with an irritable raise of an eyebrow. Did this guy not see that Seungmin needed to get going? He really hoped Chan wasn’t looking for a talking buddy, because he was about to be entirely disappointed to find out that Seungmin literally couldn’t talk. “Listen. I know you don’t really talk, but I’d like to be friends?” To say Seungmin was a little dumbfounded was a bit of an understatement, and he couldn’t help but be suspicious of this entire exchange. What had Chan been planning to get out of this? What was this game he was trying to play? Chan must have knew what Seungmin had been thinking about due to the wariness in his eyes as he quickly butted in before the younger could walk away again. “This isn’t some sort of prank, Seungmin. Promise.”

 

Seungmin studied Chan until the elder looked away in discomfort, eyes shining in slight amusement as he dug around for a pen in his pockets. Seungmin quickly took Chan by the wrist and pushed up the sleeve so he could see the pale skin there, jotting down his number. Seungmin clicked his pen shut and stuffed it back in his pocket before walking away without another glance, leaving Chan staring after him while unknowingly being glared at from another soul that hid in the darkness of the breezeway.

 

It wasn’t a secret that Seungmin was practically a ghost to the school. Not only did he not speak, he was so swift and light on his feet that no one ever heard him approach. There was a joke a few years ago that Seungmin hovered above the ground but acted as if he walked because he had been so quiet, and now had been no different. He hadn’t given the people in the locker room a warning, much less a greeting when he creaked open the door and scared them shitless.

 

He hadn’t recognized the people but they were obviously upset that he just bursted in and didn’t even acknowledge them. The three figures left in a huff, muttering crude insults under their breaths before though and making sure Seungmin heard all of them. The names and insults didn’t bother Seungmin; he was immune to them at this point and they literally had no affect on him. So, Seungmin did what he came to do; he changed clothes and went on his merry way, stopping by his locker to grab his textbooks for his next two classes.

 

However, when he opened his locker, a folded piece of heavy paper fluttered to the floor and landed with a soft thump. Seungmin stared at it for a moment as if it was going to blow up any second. He hesitantly reached down to grab it, flinching back slightly when he felt how cold the crisp paper had been against his fingertips and gently unfolded it, reading what was inside.

 

_Dear Seungmin,_

 

_This is so odd. I can’t believe I’m even doing this because it’s so creepy, but I’m hoping_

_these might make you feel a bit better about your days as I’ve noticed you’re a very_

_unhappy person._

 

_Anyways, I found you in the street last night. You were kneeling in a parking lot after_

_being nearly hit by a car and I was worried that you were so out of it you wouldn’t snap_

_back into reality._

_You had a panic attack didn’t you? It’s okay if you did, but I wish I knew what it was about_

_so I could make sure you feel better. But this is the best I could do._

 

_I want you to breathe and remember that you have people okay? Even if I’ll probably_

_never show myself to you._

 

_-H.H_

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Seungmin’s reaction storage from years ago didn’t have a reaction for this. How was he supposed to feel after receiving a letter from someone who found him at his most vulnerable and refused to say who they were? However, he found himself hooking a pinky around the comforting words written on the page, not quite commiting to the comfort but deciding it was rather sweet that the person went out of their way to write him a note when Seungmin was cold to practically everyone.

 

Echos of shoes bounced off of the walls letting Seungmin know that someone had been walking down the hall and was coming his way. The boy quickly stuffed the letter in his school pockets and finished gathering his things, acting as if there was nothing suspicious going on. “Hey kid, why are you out of class?” The minute Seungmin turned to face his psychology professor, the man’s face softened from it’s harsh one to an understanding one. “Ah, Mr. Kim. Late again?” Seungmin nodded his head. “Sleep in?” Seungmin debated nodding his head or not because it hadn’t been entirely false but it wasn’t the full truth either. Nonetheless, Seungmin nodded his head in the end.

 

Mr. Min sighed and nodded, patting Seungmin on the shoulder. “Get to class. Stop missing mine so much. Set an alarm for once.” Mr. Min sassed and walked off, leaving Seungmin to go his own way. The boy’s fingers hovered over the classroom door handle before they finally rested on the cold metal. Seungmin debated just ditching fully and focusing on finding a place to sleep tonight but that wouldn’t be fair on Jeongin. With that in mind, Seungmin pushed open the door, interrupting his teacher who was mid lecture and shuffled inside.

 

“Late again, Mr. Kim. See me after class.” Mr. Jeon sighed out, motioning for Seungmin to sit in his seat by the window. Mostly everyone had been in pairs at tables, but Seungmin had slipped his maths teacher a note stating that he works best alone and would much prefer being sat alone. So Mr. Jeon listened and sat him alone by the window where he had a perfect site of the gym class below. The moment Seungmin pulled out his notebook and Mr. Jeon jumped back into his lecture, Seungmin’s attention migrated to the view outside, seeing some of the guys playing an intense game of soccer.

 

Seungmin could name every person that played on that field, but his eyes seemed to linger on the school’s golden boy, Hwang Hyunjin. Seungmin hadn’t been interested in him, Seungmin didn’t like people, he wasn’t capable of doing so. The only thing that grabbed his attention with Hyunjin had been the way he played the game. Hyunjin was the captain, so he was of course one of the best but it was rather baffling just to see how good he was. Seungmin hadn’t realized it but the elder had caught Seungmin’s gaze through the window, sending him a tiny wave and smile that crinkled his eyes up in his direction when it was clear Seungmin had noticed him. The younger was a little shocked but raised an eyebrow in interest before turning away at the sound of his teacher’s voice. “Mr.  Kim! Would you like to solve this problem for me?”

 

No one was quite sure how Seungmin’s eyes didn’t get stuck with how far back they rolled into his head at his teacher’s question. The moment he looked at the board, he already knew the answer, so he stormed up to the board and grabbed the dry erase marker from Mr. Jeon and began scribbling down the work before placing the marker gently back into his teacher’s hands, all in just a few seconds. The class gaped for a moment, trying to figure out how the hell he figured it out considering everyone had missed it on the homework. All but him anyways.

 

Everything passed by in a blur, something that was becoming annoyingly regular in the past 48 hours and it made Seungmin groan internally. He was becoming tired of being unaware of what was going on around him because his mind was too buzzed to process everything. Did that person slip him something last night? Seungmin shuddered at the thought. Before he knew it, the bell clattered and shrieked through the school, everyone bolting out the door and leaving Seungmin to “talk” to his professor. The teacher, however, did not talk to Seungmin right off the bat, grabbing his laptop and walking over to the boys desk and sitting beside him. “Type what you want to say in here and press this button”

 

Seungmin nodded slowly and took the laptop, sliding it over in his direction and gently grazing the cool keyboard. “Why are you late almost everyday, Mr. Kim?” Seungmin was my entirely sure what to say, coming up with some bullshit excuse that might have some sort of affect on his professor. Seungmin flinched slightly when he played what he typed, the man’s voice being louder than it should have been, but Seungmin didn’t turn him down out of respect for the teacher. This had been his laptop and Seungmin didn’t have the right to mess with it.

 

“My mother leaves the house before I do in the morning and my alarms don’t work all the time so I end up late most mornings. It’s not a personal thing.” The robotic voice echoed in the empty classroom, Mr. Jeon rolling his eyes at the lame excuse Seungmin had given him. Mr. Jeon and a few of the other teachers were practically begging for Seungmin to just open up and explain the situation to him. They knew Seungmin was getting abused at home, that there was a reason behind his apathy and silence. But they couldn’t force him to answer, he had to do it on his own terms. Mr. Jeon sighed and poked his tongue into the side of his cheek, waving his hand. “Get to class.”

 

Seungmin scrambled up, gathering his things and left the room without as so much a glance towards his teacher, internally dreading the next class. The class was just literature, nothing too difficult, but it was the people in that class. Mostly everyone left him alone at school with the occasional crude comment, but this class was filled with people who went out of their way to make Seungmin’s life a living hell. Well, at school anyway. Life at home hadn’t been much better. “Ah, the mute showed up.” A voice snickered from the back of the room when Seungmin showed up to class, handing his teacher the note he got from Mr. Jeon and finding his seat in the back.

 

However, instead of the seat next to his being empty as always, Chan was sat there on a school laptop furiously typing out a paper. The silver haired boy flickered his eyes up at the words his classmate used, locking gazes with Seungmin and offering the tiniest of smiles. Seungmin wasn’t quite sure why such a small display of friendliness was more comforting than any hug someone could give him, but it calmed Seungmin down and made him not dread this class so much.

 

The two didn’t make any sort of conversation, Seungmin eternally grateful for that. However, it wasn’t long until the cliché bullying and insults spilled from his other classmate’s mouths. “Hey freak, are you finally going to talk today? Or are we going to be able to get away with our daily tortures?” Lord, they were really fucking bad at insults. Seungmin rolled his eyes, not even sparing them a glance. But the minute something crunchy hit his temple, his neck whirled around and he came face to face with Yoon Jung Han, someone he used to be friends with until everything came tumbling down when they got into high school.

 

Seungmin wanted to stand up, grab him by the neck and slam him into the wall, but he refrained for the sake of his ability to keep going here. He was already on a pretty thin thread. “Cut it out, mate,” Chan spoke up from beside Seungmin, not tearing his eyes away from the computer once and sounding bored out of his mind. Seungmin wasn’t sure what kind of power Chan had over people but that seemed to shut everyone right up. Seungmin studied the elder for a moment before tugging out a piece of paper and writing something down, passing it to Chan. The two passed it back and forth for about two minutes before the teacher finally started the lecture.

 

_Since when were you in this class?_

 

_Since today. I’m a peer tutor._

 

_You? A peer tutor?_

 

_Why do you sound so surprised. Damn. The lack of respect._

 

_Just wouldn’t expect you to focus on other people’s studies when yours seem to be pretty important._

 

_I’ve got all my credits. None of the administration wanted me to have a free period so they put me in here as a peer tutor._

 

_Well. Thanks._

 

_No problem :)_

 

Seungmin breathed a bit heavier to show his amusement when he saw the smiley face, Chan feeling a bit proud of himself to know that Seungmin had been slightly amused at his antics, even if it was tiny. Chan was something new, and Seungmin appreciated that Chan wasn’t being too extra about his silence and respected his space. The day seemed to move a lot clearer, all until the final bell rang and Seungmin was left in his final class with a heavy weight on his shoulders. Literally. His duffle bag was murdering his shoulders but Seungmin really needed a shower after everything that had happened last night.

 

So, he dealt with the weight and made his way to the other side of the school, entering the locker room with slight hesitance. There had only been a few people inside, all from the last gym class who had taken longer to shower and get changed. Seungmin retreated to the back of the locker room where no one had been, setting his duffle bag on the bench and digging through it. Seungmin pulled out clothes after clothes, smelling all of them in hopes of it not smelling like alcohol or weed but that just didn’t seem to be the case for any of them. With a huff, Seungmin chose the items that smelled the least horrid and his toiletries before making his way to the showers.

 

Seungmin chose the one in the very back, the one that only had cold water and no one used, shutting the curtain behind him to mask his body from the rest of the world. Well, the locker room anyway. The boy was quick, not allowing himself to dwell on his thoughts too much because one, he didn’t have the time and two, the water was freezing. Seungmin hopped out quickly and wrapped the towel tightly around his waist after slipping up his briefs, tip toeing back to the entrance of the locker room and peeping around. His chest deflated in relief when he saw no one around, bolting to his spot in the back and quickly slipping on a pair of ripped, dirt stained jeans.

 

He had thought he was safe, that nobody was in there to see the scars and bruises littering his skin. He had thought, but didn’t confirm as a pair of eyes watched his every move shyly from a few feet away, hiding behind a wall of lockers. “Jinnie! You in here?” Seungmin froze, snatching a white t-shirt with unfortunately some blood stains on it and slipping it over his head as a voice close by called out, the voice belonging to no one other than Hyunjin.

 

“Yeah! I’ll be out in a second, Hyung,” the boy sputtered out, grabbing his things and stuffing them into the bag. Seungmin waited for Hyunjin to leave but the boy hadn’t moved once so Seungmin decided he’d just have to get over it and do what he had to do. The boy slipped on a flannel and socks, grabbing toothpaste and a toothbrush before making his way to the sinks, walking right past Hyunjin who eyed him in slight fear. Seungmin paid him no mind; well, that’s what it looked like anyway.

Hyunjin really wanted to talk to him, and it seemed as though he received the perfect opportunity when he realized that he literally didn’t have any deodorant. The elder approached Seungmin, making his presence known with a cough. Seungmin glanced at him through the mirror, brushing his front bottom set of teeth aggressively. “Do you have some deodorant I can borrow?” Seungmin had to think if he did or not but he couldn’t remember, pointing up a single finger and brushing past the elder to dig through his bag. Hyunjin wasn’t sure if he should follow but he decided last minute that he would, hovering behind the hunched over figure shyly.

 

Suddenly, a unit of deodorant came flying out of the bag along with his alcohol stained button up and a bottle of pills, the bottle hitting the ground with an echoing rattle. Seungmin gulped, quickly reaching down to pick it up but Hyunjin got to it first. As much as Hyunjin wanted to ask about it and read what the meds had been, he didn’t. Insead, he handed the bottle to a flushed Seungmin and let the boy snatch it from his hands aggressively and stuff the alcohol stained shirt back into the bag. Seungmin shoved the stick of deodorant into Hyunjin’s hand and stormed back over to the sinks to spit out the dripping toothpaste.

 

Hyunjin stared at the bottle and then the bag for a moment, everything flashing before his eyes. Seungmin had a duffle bag full of dirty clothes, basic necessities inside, and a bottle of prescription pills. If that hadn’t been enough, the blood splatter on Seungmin’s white t-shirt and the image of the bruises and scars littering his back was enough to make Hyunjin want to poke and prod into Seungmin’s life even more. At first it had just been a slight infatuation but now… now it was something Hyunjin knew he couldn’t come back from.

 

When Seungmin came back to his duffle bag, he saw the deodorant resting at the very top of his bag, and a door softly click shut. Hyunjin had finally left and Seungmin was left sat on the bench drinking in everything that had happened. The boy sighed and stared at the bottle before stuffing it in his duffle bag and putting on his combat boots and leaving the school, duffle bag draped over his shoulder and hair damp and messy.

 

Seungmin ended up sleeping on a tree branch in the park he woke up in that morning, using his duffle as a pillow and jacket as a blanket, thanking the lord it had been close to summer so nights weren’t that cold anymore. However, he wasn’t surprised to enter the dirty bathrooms in the park and see that his lips had been slightly bluer and skin sickly pale. The boy changed into his school clothes in one of the stalls, making sure everything looked presentable before trying his best to tame the mop of hair on his head.

 

It was like that for a few mornings. Seungmin waking up with uncomfortable pains in his back while nearly falling out of the tree, trying his best to look presentable, and find something to eat for the day. He had a system, and while it wasn’t great, it worked. Seungmin was alive and surviving, even if he had a rumbling stomach and lack of love in his heart. The only thing keeping him from just ditching town had been Jeongin, Chan and the recent notes he had been receiving in his locker that held such sweet words that almost gave Seungmin a craving for some sweets.

 

Today had been no different. Seungmin showed up on time, opening his locker to grab his text books and a paper with a bag of gummy sweets taped to it. It was as if the person read his mind.

  
  


_Dear Seungmin,_

 

_I hope you’re enjoying these notes and don’t think I’m a total creep. I swear I’m not a_

_pervert or anything, I’m just infatuated with you and who you are. I see you read these_

_notes you know? Sometimes anyway._

 

_Jeez, I really do sound like a stalker._

 

_I know you show little to know emotions but I’ve caught onto how you react to certain_

_things. You raise your eyebrows when you’re amused, puff your cheeks when you’re_

_irritated, and your lips twitch up a little bit when you’re happy. However, your cheeks turn_

_red when you read my notes and I’m just praying to the heavens that you’re just flushed_

_and not something bad._

 

_I wish I could hold you. Would you like someone to hold you and tell you you’re gonna be_

_okay? Or are you not touchy?_

 

_-H.H_

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

The person’s observing abilities was admirable. Not even Jeongin himself had figured out Seungmin’s reactions and here was this complete stranger that Seungmin didn’t know the name of who knew him like the back of his hand. The idea of it sent a shiver down Seungmin’s spine, not liking the fact that someone knew him better than almost himself. If anything, he just wanted to know who H.H. was.

 

When Seungmin arrived in his maths class, he wanted the world beneath him to swallow him up and keep him warm. It was okay at first, the class going how it normally would. And then someone walked through the door. It was a boy, blonde fluffy hair sitting on top of his head and a bright, nervous smile adorning his lips. “Ah. Who might you be?” Mr. Jeon inquired, offering the new student a warm smile.

 

The boy shyly muttered under his breath, obvious panic setting in when he realized that he actually had to speak. “Lee Felix. I moved here from Australia a few days ago and I don’t speak Korean very well. Treat me well?” Seungmin almost felt bad for the kid. He knew Felix was going to get ripped apart due to him being new and not familiar with the language and culture of Korea, so Seungmin made a mental note to talk to Chan about looking after the poor kid.

“Welcome to Korea. Your Korean is very good for a newbie. Sit next to…” Seungmin’s heart dropped when Mr. Jeon’s eyes met his, “Seungmin. Raise your hand, Mr. Kim,” Mr. Jeon ordered, not looking even the slightest bit apologetic. Wow. This kid was really being set up for failure. Felix bounded over to the seat, dropping his bag on the ground and loudly screeching the seat. Seungmin winced silently, curling his nose up and looking outside, seeing the same group of guys playing soccer on the field.

 

“Hi.” Seungmin snapped his head in the direction of the voice, nibbling on his lower lip as he tried his best to offer Felix a smile, but it came out more like a grimace. Felix frowned at the lack of greeting, pouting in his chair. Seungmin rolled his eyes and tore off a piece of paper quietly from the notes he had been taking, sliding it over to Felix.

 

_Stop pouting._

 

_You don’t have to be mean._

 

_I’m actually being nice and giving you a warning. Do yourself a favor and stay far, far away from me if you want to survive in this school okay? Find any class with Han Jisung and you’ll be okay._

 

_What if I want to be friends with you?_

 

_It’s best if you suppress that want._

 

Felix didn’t respond after that and lunch came around quicker than he thought. Seungmin finally had the chance to eat his gummy worms he had gotten from the mysterious note writer and was more than happy to find out that he would be alone for most of lunch. Well. That’s what he thought anyway. Seungmin had been sat in the library before Jeongin came storming in with two familiar australians, one flustered and the other mildly amused. “How are you gonna to tell Felix hyung that he shouldn’t hang out with you, Hyung?” Jeongin hissed quietly, being respectful of the fact that they were in a library.

 

Seungmin raised a singular eyebrow, sitting back in his hair with his arms crossed over his chest as his eyes said it all. “That’s not social suicide, Hyung! I’m friends with you and I’m perfectly fine!” Jeongin whined, Felix looking between the two in bewilderment. Chan couldn’t stifle his snickers, patting the younger on the back. “Oh don’t think that! You’re not a burden!” Jeongin continued to whine as Seungmin made different facial expressions and movements with his eyes.

 

“Ok wait, stop. Can you read his mind or something? Does he talk and I just can’t hear it?” Felix butted in rather quickly, looking beyond confused.

 

“Minnie Hyung is a mute. I’ve been around for so long that I know what he’s thinking most of the time. Now. Get to know each other.” Jeongin shoved Felix into the chair next to Seungmin’s and dragging a cackling Chan out of the library. “I’m sorry.” Felix apologized shyly, Seungmin waving him off and starting on his work.

 

He came to find that Felix really wasn’t that bad. He was really bubbly and fun most times but he talked and talked and talked. They had been in the library for the third day in a row and all Felix would speak about was the cute guy in his dance class, Seo Changbin. So, to get Felix to shut the fuck up about Changbin’s jawline and adorable dark aura, he found a way to get Changbin to come to the library so Seungmin could ‘accidently’ send Felix stumbling into Changbin.

 

Seungmin actually lost patience though and just shoved Felix in Changbin’s direction and not allowing him to turn back either. The two eventually ended up talking and Seungmin concluded that his work here was done and left the library. How he ended up on the bleachers watching a few of the kids play soccer, Hyunjin included, he wasn’t sure, but it was a blessing disguised as a mistake.

 

He had just been working on his Psychology homework, doing no harm to anyone around him. Until, well, a soccer ball hit his temple and the boys began to snicker. Seungmin stared at them blankly, obviously making them uncomfortable with the way they immediately jumped into making insults towards him. “Get off the field freak! Just because your little bitch of a boyfriend is friends with half of the school doesn’t mean you’re welcome here!” Everything had gone quiet. Seungmin didn’t mind when people insulted him, he was used to it. But the moment someone insulted Jeongin, things became… dangerous.

 

Hyunjin watched Seungmin’s every move, his hairs standing on the back of his neck as Seungmin gently closed his text book and sat it down. The boy stood up and made his way down the bleachers, every step a deafening thumb. Seungmin approached the boy who uttered the words, only a few feet away from Hyunjin as they were practically nose to nose. Words weren’t said on Seungmin’s part, but they didn’t have to be said, his eyes telling them everything they needed to know. “What are you gonna do? Cut out my tongue? Kill me? I’m sure you would love to see someone with scars on their body so you’re not alone-”

 

Everything passed in a blur, Seungmin gripping the boy by the throat and pinning him to the nearest tree, vision clear but heart pumping in his ears. The way his fingers dug into the boy’s neck was enough to have him whimpering and clawing at Seungmin’s wrist. Multiple people tried to get Seungmin off of the shaking student but he ripped their grips off of him quickly. Seungmin had dealt with one too many of his mom’s boyfriends and was far more used to this than he should have been. However, a hand landed on the back of his neck, the familiar feeling of bruising fingertips and hushed whispers against the back of his head.   


Seungmin ripped himself away, slinging the boy to the ground and removing the hand that had once sat on the back of his neck in a panic. The mute whirled around, facing Hyunjin with nervous eyes and bolted, grabbing his things and running off of the field quicker than anyone could comprehend. Seungmin had a pretty good idea of who the letters had been from but he’d never utter a word.

  
  


His feet dragged against the ground, eye’s unable to focus clearly on the road ahead of him. Seungmin thought he was going to collapse at any second. The only food Seungmin had been consuming were the sweets the letter writer had been giving him, his pockets empty and unable to provide actual food for the poor boy. His body was beginning to give out from lack of sleep, food, and warmth. It hadn’t helped that he ran out of his pills a few days ago and his anxiety was at an all time height.

 

He walked down alley after alley, listening to mewels of cats and the mentally insane that roamed the streets so late at night. The world span around him, his body shifting and turning to avoid running into things but his feet stumbled over the other and his torso went stumbling to the ground right outside a bright restaurant. Seungmin unknowingly gathered attention from one of the workers inside, his mouth fallen agape at the mere feeling of his brain pumping against his temples and creating sharp pains throughout the entirety of his Seungmin’s face.

 

Chiming bells sounded in his head, his bleary eyes glancing up and being met with a face that would end up being one of his saving graces. “Kid? Do you need help?” Seungmin let out a whimper and let his head loll off to the side, curling up in on himself. The boy hovering above him grew panicked and quickly shook him. “Stand up for me.” The boy demanded, arms hooking underneath Seungmin’s armpits and hoisted him into the air, slinging his arms around the taller’s torso to stabilize the younger.

 

Seungmin stumbled forward in a drunken manner, feeling drowsy and slurred as if he had consumed a few glasses of whiskey. The elder boy who held him up carried him inside the diner, practically threw him in one of the booths, Seungmin sinking into the comfortable cushion. The boy had been entirely lucky that the diner had been closed and that this particular person had found him instead of someone else. The boy was quick to start making some rice and chicken for the boy, throwing in an easy curry on top. Seungmin’s senses seemed to heighten dramatically at just the mere smell of rice, a whimper escaping his lips when the boy came out from the kitchen with a steaming bowl of food.

 

Seungmin ate slowly, studying his savior in front of him. The boy had been a bit shorter than him but was obviously older than Seungmin by at least two years. His cheeks were squishy and his lips were relatively thin, but his nose was a cute little button and his eyes screamed wise innocence. The boy was cute; really cute. Seungmin pushed the bowl to the side for a moment, grabbing a pen from his bag and one of the napkins at the table, writing down his question and passing it to the elder.

 

_What’s your name?_

 

“Minho.”

 

_Thank you, Minho hyung._

 

“It’s not an issue kid. What’s your name?”

 

_Seungmin._

 

“So… Seungminnie.”

 

_No… Seungmin._

 

“So, Seungminnie,” Minho emphasized the nickname he had given the boy with a gentle, playful smile, “why are you roaming the streets with a duffle bag and a school bag so late at night?” Seungmin wasn’t sure why he felt like he could trust Minho with his deepest, darkest secrets, but Minho was there with food and questions of obvious concern. It had been so long since anyone showed Seungmin concern and he wasn’t sure if he liked it or not. Seungmin didn’t tell him everything, but he explained the situation; that his mother was a druggie and alcoholic that made money from selling her body and had kicked him out when he refused to speak.

 

That had been the end of that conversation for the time being, Minho changing the subject and getting to know Seungmin rather than pry into his personal life. Seungmin appreciated the elder’s efforts, answering every question with a bit of hope that maybe Minho was here to stay and be a security blanket for him. He figured out that Minho had a place of his own that wasn’t too far from where they were at, Minho offering him a place to sleep for a few nights. “Listen, I know I’m some older guy you just met but I was in your place at one time and I don’t want anyone to go through what I did.”

 

Seungmin was sure that if he could cry, he probably would have. Minho didn’t know him, he didn’t know how bad his anxiety got, how his apathy was something that could put barriers in friendships along with his chosen silence. There was so much Minho didn’t know about him but here he was, taking Seungmin underneath his wing.

 

Life became better after that night. For the most part anyway. Seungmin now had a pretty permanent place to sleep, clean clothes, and at least two meals a day. Hell, he even had a ride to school in the morning. Seungmin no longer woke up with blue lips and back aches, but instead underneath three, fuzzy blankets on the top bunk of his shared bunk bed with his new roommate, Minho. The elder was entirely a blessing, giving Seungmin a home, a job at the diner to help pay rent, and someone to rely on. The two had even began to learn sign language so it was easier to communicate.

 

Much as everything good in his life began to appear, there was of course a thorns among the rose, one far more prominent than the others. See, Seungmin liked to sing. It was his passion. Something that no one knew and he hoped it would stay that way. Since Seungmin walked home most days, he decided to stay after for the first time in a few weeks, heading to the chorus room where he knew a piano was. Jeongin talked about it a lot and how old it was and that the school really needed to replace it but he didn’t mind too much.

 

The room had been quiet, so quiet you could hear a pin drop. The whole wing of the school was practically abandoned and Seungmin was thankful for that. Seungmin sat his stuff down by the door, approaching the grand piano in the middle of the room and grazing his fingertips along the worn keys. Seungmin couldn’t contain himself anymore, sitting down on the bench and playing the familiar tune of ‘Hear me’ by imagine dragons, a band that Felix had introduced to him last week.

 

‘Try to hear my voice

You can leave, now it’s your choice.

 

Maybe if I fall asleep, I won’t breathe right

Maybe if I leave tonight, I won’t come back

 

I said it before, I won’t say it again

Love is a game to you, it’s not pretend

Maybe if I fall asleep, I won’t breathe right

 

Can nobody hear me?

I’ve got a lot that’s on my mind

I cannot breathe

Can you hear it, too?

 

You kiss and you kiss

You love and you love

You’ve got a history list and the rest is above

And if you’re warm, then you can’t relate to me

 

I said it before, I won’t say it again

Love is a game to you, let’s not pretend.

Maybe if I fall asleep, I won’t breathe right, right, right

 

Can nobody hear me?

I’ve got a lot that’s on my mind

I cannot breathe

Can you hear it, too?

 

Leave your shoes at the door, baby

I am all you adore, lately

Come with me and we will run away

 

Can nobody hear me?

I’ve got a lot that’s on my mind

I cannot breathe

Can you hear it, too?

Can nobody hear me?

I’ve got a lot that’s on my mind

I cannot breathe

Can you hear it, too?

 

Seungmin’s voice faded out back into the silence, his vocal cords throbbing from the slight over use of them in so long. But despite not opening his mouth for over four years, his voice still sounded absolutely beautiful, unknowingly grabbing the attention of a student passing by, the same student standing just outside of the room listening to Seungmin’s voice with wide eyes. He waited for a bit after Seungmin stopped, seeing if he was going to sing another song, but when he heard footsteps moving around the room, he bolted down the hall as quietly as possible with largest smile on his face. Kim Seungmin could _talk_ , Kim Seungmin could _sing_.

 

Seungmin felt his phone vibrate, seeing a text from Minho asking him where he was and why he wasn’t home yet. Seungmin was quick to answer that he had stayed behind a bit and was getting ready to head home, but Minho told him to stay where he was as he was going to pick Seungmin up and go out for ice cream afterwards. The boy walked out of the chorus room with a slight pep in his step, walking towards the entrance and seeing Hwang Hyunjin standing by the gates looking at something on his phone.

 

Seungmin stood a few yards away, tapping his foot in a luring pattern. “So, I noticed you don’t take showers after school anymore.” It was a rather awkward conversation starter, but it had been the only one Hyunjin could think of, earning him a breath of amusement from Seungmin and curious eyes. The younger nodded slowly, eyes focused on Hyunjin’s body inching closer and closer. “I, uh… I wanted to apologize for my friends. They’re…” Seungmin wanted to scream dickheads but refrained, waiting for him to finish, “Dickheads.” Seungmin snorted.

 

Hyunjin stared at Seungmin with a look of admiration, the smallest of smiles on his faces. “What? Were you thinking that?” Hyunjin couldn’t help but chuckle when Seungmin nodded his head, eyes squinting as his full set of teeth were on show, flashing Seungmin his very well known smile. “Erm… Can I get your number?” Seungmin almost didn’t believe his ears or eyes, especially when he noticed how shy Hyunjin had gotten, staring at the ground as he rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet.

 

Seungmin had done the same thing he did with Chan, taking out a pen and grabbing Hyunjin’s wrist and gently writing the numbers on his skin. Hyunjin stared at his arm in shock, skin tingling from Seungmin’s grip. Before they could exchange any more.. Words? A yell came from their left, the two seeing a smiling Minho stood against a car. A car that Seungmin knew all too well but had only ever seen parked in the back of the apartment complex that was in desperate need of work. “Yo Seungminnie! Look who tagged along!” Seungmin couldn’t contain his excitement, bolting over to Minho and petting the hood of the car in amazement.

 

Minho kept letting out giggles at Seungmin’s gobsmacked expression, taking the younger into a firm hug. “I have other news too, kid.” Seungmin waited patiently, eyes shining in curiosity, “I got a promotion. I’m practically running the place now.” Seungmin practically jumped on Minho, cuddling the elder close to his chest while pressing kisses against his cheek over and over again. Seungmin was almost an entirely different person around Minho, and as Hyunjin watched from a distance, he felt his knees go weak at the smile but nose curl up in slight jealousy. And by slight… it was really more like a lot. Hyunjin looked away when they finally got in the car and drove away, still staring at the number on his skin and hoping and praying that the guy who picked up Seungmin hadn’t been his boyfriend.

  
  


_Dear Minnie,_

_I know your secret._

 

_Remember to breath okay? I’m not going to tell anyone._

 

_I just want you to know that I know you can talk. That you can sing. I heard you in the_

_chorus room during after school hours a few nights ago and I swear my heart fluttered at_

_just the sound of your tone. It was like milk and honey, silk against one’s skin, the sweet_

_smell of roses, ect. I don’t want to be too cheesy but I swear I could listen to your voice_

_for hours and hours on end._

 

_So, Why are you a mute? Why do you not want people to hear your beautiful voice?_

 

_I can’t believe I still ask you questions as if you could answer even by writing back._

 

_But now that I know yours. Should I tell you mine?_

 

_-H.H._

 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Seungmin could feel his breathing go irregular when he finished reading the note, holding it close to his chest and not letting it go in fear of dropping it and someone else reading it. No one was supposed to know. Seungmin’s body acted before he did, his hand slamming his locker door shut and ran down the hallway, gathering everyone’s attention from the hallway. Hyunjin watched him intently, debating if he should follow him or not but Woojin, Hyunjin’s best friend and fully aware of Hyunjin’s crush on Seungmin told him to wait.

 

Woojin gently pushed open the door to the bathroom, hearing heavy breathing and running water. Seungmin hovered over the sink, coughing erratically as he tried to keep his panic at bay. He couldn’t have a panic attack. Not here. “Hey… Seungmin right? Minho’s roommate?” Seungmin snapped his head up, shiny eyes meeting a pair of warm, concerned ones. Seungmin recognized him, this had been Kim Woojin, the nicest guy in school but also one of the lead vocalist on the choir.

 

Seungmin nodded his head, wiping away his stray tears roughly. “Do you want me to call Minho for you?” Woojin’s voice was so gentle, so kind, something that was almost foreign to Seungmin. It hadn’t seen like an entirely bad idea so he nodded his head, sniffling and letting a sob escape his lips. The elder nodded with a gentle smile and tugged out his phone, dialing Minho’s number and boldy running his fingers through the younger’s messy hair as a calming gesture. “Minho? Yeah, I’m okay. But I think you should come by and pick up Seungmin.” Seungmin could hear Minho’s frantic words muffled through the phone, “He’s fine. He’s fine I promise.”

 

Woojin spared Seungmin a glance in fear of what his reaction to that false reassurance was, but was only met with a blank, empty stare. It hadn’t been rare for Seungmin to offer a blank stare, he was known for it, but this one had been far emptier than anyone was accompanied to. What had Hyunjin said in that note? What was so bad that Seungmin had practically shut down? “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll keep an eye on him. Be quick.” The younger had gotten the memo from that alone, picking up his things and meeting Woojin by the bathroom door.

 

The boy walked Seungmin to class, keeping a respectful distance and eye trained on Seungmin and everything around him. Woojin hadn’t meant to be creepy but he was worried that any sort of inconvenience or triggering event would set Seungmin off. Seungmin didn’t like it but he knew deep down he had been the ticking time bomb that Woojin had mentally compared him to.

 

Minho hadn’t been able to get off of work and to Seungmin until second block. Seungmin noticed but his mind was so clouded that nothing really seemed to stick in his head. It would go in through one ear and out the other so quickly that Seungmin didn’t even register them. Felix would try and speak to Seungmin in hopes of it getting the younger out of this extreme daze he was in, but Seungmin’s ears didn’t even twitch at the sound of Felix’s voice.

 

The Australian had given up after three tries. He sat back in his seat with a huff but realized he was being selfish when Seungmin was clearly upset. So, Felix straightened his back and carried on his life, taking two sets of notes for the boy next to him as he did nothing but stare out the window.

 

Seungmin struggled to keep his eyes off of Hyunjin, who was sat on the sidelines with sweaty hair and a shirt to match. The group had been a playing a game of football, something that the school had grown to enjoy after some of the transfer students introduced them to it. It hadn’t been a foreign game per say, it had just been that no one was really intrigued by it.

 

The mute wasn’t interested by the sport – he didn’t give two shits – but Hyunjin… Hyunjin had been something worth thinking about. There was something about him that seemed off to Seungmin; as if there had been something Hyunjin had been hiding. For once, in a very long time, Seungmin wanted to poke and prod at another person’s mind. It had been surprising for him; Seungmin hated the pure idea of it from past experiences with multiple school counselors and peers who tried to rip him apart. So, why was he insistent on doing the same thing to someone else?

 

“Seungmin? Time to go.” Mr. Jeon called out from the front of the class once Felix whacked at his arm to get his attention. Seungmin stumbled up, fingers barely grasping around the handles of his backpack and duffle before he bolted out the door, not caring about the whispers that followed with any fiber of his being.

 

The student practically ran to the office and felt a wave of relief when he saw a familiar figure stood at the front desk, keys in hand. Seungmin practically tackled Minho into a hug, completely catching the elder off guard. MInho shot a look towards the receptionists with an awkward smile on his lips and shimmied them both out of the office. Seungmin eventually let go so they didn’t go stumbling down the steps, but as soon as they reached the car all hell had broken loose.

 

“Seungminnie, what happened?” Minho asked softly, stopping in his tracks abruptly and watching pure panic wash over his friend’s face.  The elder reached his hand out and grasped Seungmin’s hand in his own. The younger seemed to relax at the feeling of Minho’s thumb caressing his knuckles and carefully shifted so he could bring the folded piece of paper into view. They both stared at it for a moment before Seungmin insisted for Minho to read it, watching the elder intently the entire time.

 

It was quick, swift and precise. Minho slinged an arm around Seungmin’s shoulders and tugged him down into his chest in hopes of soothing the boy of any worries. The person in the note had clearly stated that they weren’t going to say anything and Minho had trust in that. He knew briefly about this mysterious note writer but from the little he knew, it was clear this person was completely infatuated with Seungmin and wouldn’t cause him any sort of harm.

 

“It’s going to be okay, Seungminnie.” Minho croaked out, shoving him towards the car lightly and glancing over his shoulder when he felt eyes trained on his back. Conveniently, the sports field was just outside by the front of the school, Hwang Hyunjin getting a perfect, bitter view of the intimate hug between Seungmin and Minho. However, the elder’s eyes didn’t break away from Hyunjin’s for a moment, recognizing him as one of Woojin’s friends. Minho had a thought; something he wouldn’t directly say until later on, but he weighed it for a few days.

 

Days seem to pass by in a foggy daze for Seungmin. He no longer received letters from the strange author and Seungmin wondered if they had saw his freak out and halted for the sake of his head. But if anything, Seungmin wanted them to keep writing as if nothing had happened. That at least told him that the person wasn’t going to say anything, well, implying anyway.

  


One day, Seungmin decided to stay home. They weren’t going to be doing anything that day in class and honestly, he just wanted to get a few more hours of sleep. So, he told Minho he wasn’t going in today and was going to just sit in and watch movies while Minho was at work. At first, Minho tried to argue with him that he should go, but Seungmin was very persuasive and managed to convince the elder that he really didn’t need to. Seungmin did exactly as he signed he would; he lounged on the couch and watched movies. Well, until he got a text from an unknown number ten minutes after school let out.

 

 **_Unknown:_ ** **Hey I didn’t see you today, did you come to school?**

 

 **_Unknown:_ ** **Oh wait shit**

 

 **_Unknown:_ ** **this is Hyunjin. Probably should have said that before smh.**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **You’re good lmao. And no I wasn’t. Didn’t feel like going.**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **And your parents just let you?**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **I live with a friend actually. He was still pretty pissy tho bc he had to go into work while I got to stay home >:D**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Did you just use an emoji.**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **What’s it to you >:(**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Oh my god.**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **I just didn’t expect you of all people to use keyboard emojis tbh**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **It’s how I hide my crippling anxiety and apathy :)**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **JESUS**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **Sorry; not Jeongin you seem to have gotten the wrong number-**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Stop**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **;( You hurt me Hwang Hyunjin**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Good.**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Punishment for your complete and utter LIES.**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **Punishment? ;)**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **STOP**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **Jk jk**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Let’s just agree that Jeongin is the living, mortal embodiment of satan and move on**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **That’s a bit harsh**

 

 **_Hyunjin:_ ** **Is it?**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **….**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **no**

 

Seungmin had been so invested with his conversation with Hyunjin he didn’t realize that Minho had walked through the door and was studying him a few feet away from the couch. Before Seungmin knew it, Minho had laid himself right down on top of Seungmin, burying his face in the younger’s neck and cuddling his torso. “Hope you enjoyed your fake day off, bitch” Minho muttered in disdain.

 

Seungmin lightly pat Minho’s back in amusement, keeping his hand on the elder’s upper back. The boy’s phone vibrated but he decided to ignore it for now and enjoy a few moments of silence with his friend. But with the phone resting on the small of Minho’s back and it kept buzzing and buzzing to the point where Minho was mildly concerned. The elder unburied his head and rested his cheek against Seungmin’s shoulder to glance at his chest. “Answer your phone damnit.”

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **Hey where were you at today**

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **I also have your work, can I come drop it off?**

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **Soo... I need your address :/**

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **Did you die??**

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **Oh my god you died.**

 

 **_Seungminnie:_ ** **Ok 1) calm the fuck down.**

 

 **_Seungminnie:_ ** **2) Didn’t feel like coming in today**

 

 **_Seungminnie:_ ** **And 3) *Random address***

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **Thank you!**

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **Why is Hwang Hyunjin trying to guilt trip me into letting him go with me to your house**

 

 **_Seungminnie:_ ** **We’ve been texting but we literally started texting today so idk**

 

 **_Channie Hyung:_ ** **So do I let him come orrr…?**

 

 **_Seungminnie:_ ** **Sure.**

 

Seungmin placed his phone back on his chest, not even bothering to explain it to Minho knowing that the elder was reading all of his texts. “Is Hyunjin that cute kid that always stares at you?” Seungmin’s eyes snapped open in alarm, swatting at the elder’s back with just enough force for the impact to cause a dull ache. Minho huffed and sat up, legs practically straddling Seungmin’s hips. “So it is. Do you like him?” Minho’s question completely caught Seungmin off guard, Minho smirking at the gobsmacked look on his face. The elder was entirely aware of Seungmin’s sexuality, one of the few who knew about it and accepted. Jeongin, Felix and Chan were the only others who knew and they accepted him whole heartily as they hadn’t been completely straight themselves.

 

The problem had been the school finding out, the community for lack of a better word. Homosexuals still weren’t accepted that well in Korea. Yes, progress had been made from older times, but they still weren’t allowed to get married or walk around freely. Hell, the last kid that came out at their school had either dropped out or commited suicide. No one was sure as he just seemed to fall off the face of the earth and just the mere idea of that happening to him sent Seungmin into a panicked frenzy.

 

Seungmin hadn’t realized that his breathing was now labored and his eyes were cloudy and unfocused until cold hands landed on his cheeks. “Calm down, Seungminnie. It’s okay. Everything is okay. My views of you haven’t changed in the slightest.” Minho’s soothing voice reached both Seugmin’s ears and mind, breaking through the barrier he had built and worming his way into the control center of Seungmin’s brain. Minho peppered protective kisses around Seungmin’s face as a sign of comfort. To Seungmin, Minho would forever and always be an older brother or parent figure; guiding him and accepting him for who he was as long as he didn’t hurt another. Minho was a safe place.

 

Seungmin calmed down, controlled his breathing, and fluttered his eyes closed. Minho’s lips landed on his forehead before collapsing himself back into his previous position. They held each other close, falling asleep for fifteen minutes before knocks came at the door and breaking them from their slumber. Minho groaned and stumbled up, flicking Seungmin in the nose before approaching the door with messy hair and sleepy eyes.

 

Two familiar boys stood in the doorway, one more familiar than the other. The silver haired boy’s eyes were blown wide at the sight of Minho, snapping out of his trance with a blush on his cheeks. “Can I help you?” Chan felt like he was going to faint after Minho spoke, the boy’s voice sounding like pure honey. Hyunjin studied Chan with a raised, judgemental eyebrow and shook his head when Chan was unable to speak.

 

“I’m Hyunjin and this idiot is Chan. We’re here for Seungmin?” Minho’s eyes flickered with sudden realization, a small smile forming on his lips and motioning for them to come inside. Hyunjin had to push Chan’s unmoving body inside with a hiss in his ear, “At least wait until we’ve sat down to faint. I really don’t want to drag you inside.” Chan glared in Hyunjin’s direction and stepped inside with a little too much pep in his step and slipped off his shoes at the door, Hyunjin doing the same.

 

Minho sat on one of the loveseats with his legs folded underneath him and a blanket draped over his lap. There were four, steaming cups of tea rested on the table and the two students looked around in confusion. “Oh! He’s right there.” Minho giggled, pointing to the couch in front of them. Chan and Hyunjin leaned over the back and saw Seungmin curled up on the couch, eyes barely peeled open. The boy sleepily waved, Hyunjin’s heart beating at ten million miles an hour.

 

A mischievous smirk developed on Chan’s face when he saw that Hyunjin and Seungmin had been staring at each other for far longer than they should have been, slyly tugging out the work in his bag and dropping it flat on Seungmin’s chest. The youngest of the four couched erratically, grunting as Minho tried to hide his giggles by covering his mouth with his hand. Hyunjin and Chan cackled freely, Hyunjin being nice enough to lift the papers off of him and place them on the coffee table when he came around. “Still can’t believe you ‘just stayed home.’”

 

Seungmin smiled cheekily in Hyunjin’s direction, lifting his legs for the elder to sit down and placing them back in his lap once Hyunjin settled. The elder snarled his nose up at this, poking Seungmin’s calves before tickling them, earning a soft kick to the gut. “What am I? A foot rest?” Hyunjin whined, breath catching in his throat when a smirk crept up on Seungmin’s lips. The boy lifted his fist and pivoted it up and down three times. “You know sign language?” Seungmin motioned again. “I do too!” Hyunjin signed it out to prove his point.

 

Chan and Minho watched the two in interested, Seungmin and Hyunjin speaking back and forth excitedly. Well, Hyunjin was more like screeching while signing and Seungmin was signing back with amusement evident on his lips. Suddenly, Seungmin broke out into laughter, Sitting up and grabbing Hyunjin by the face, who just stared back with blown eyes. Minho watched the show in front of him and Chan with equally as blown eyes, mouth agape. Seungmin dragged Hyunjin back down with him, cradling his head to Seungmin’s chest and caressing him as if he were something he needed to protect.

 

Hyunjin was as stiff as a board at this point, trying to figure out where this very sudden burst of energy and playfulness came from the school apathetic mute. However, his body soon melted into Seungmin’s and he laughed along with him, realizing his mistake. He had signed something completely fucking different from what he was supposed to and it was something a little too inappropriate. “Did he just…” Minho trailed off, voice laced with amusement and locking eyes with Seungmin. The two students nodded, Hyunjin shying away in embarrassment. Minho grabbed a plastic cup from the coffee table and threw it at the two. “Yah! You shouldn’t even know what that means!”

 

The group settled after that. Chan finally learned this beautiful boys name and that he was in fact younger than him, but had already graduated due to him being undeniably smart and getting everything he needed out of the way. Minho was sweet and kind, if not a little witty and sarcastic, and Chan was practically a love struck fool after five minutes. Chan was completely entranced by this boy and he knew he was absolutely fucked when Minho called him the god forsaken nickname and didn’t hate it when _he_ said it, “Channie Hyung?” The eldest snapped his head away from the tea in his hand and faced the boy sat next to him and raised an eyebrow in acknowledgement. “What do you do? In your free time I mean.” Minho’s cheeks flushed lightly, Chan’s matching his as he realized he was going to have to explain his passion for music that no one seemed to really accept.

 

“I uh… I produce a lot of music. I like to rap and sing too..” Chan shyly explained, rubbing the back of his neck. Minho’s eyes lit up in interest, shifting a bit closer to the elder.

 

“Really? I’m into both as well. But I dance more than anything.” Minho murmured, Chan’s heart beating rapidly when he realized how close they had been. “You should let me hear your music sometime. Only if you want to of course!” Minho’s voice seemed to come out almost like a purr making Chan’s ears turn red. The elder nodded his head, his agreement coming out in a shaky crack. “You’re cute.” Minho giggled before getting up and escaping into the bathroom for a moment.

 

As soon as Minho was out of earshot, Chan sunk into the couch with a heavy sigh and held his face in his hands. Hyunjin and Seungmin watched in amusement, having their own silent conversation about the two when Chan and Minho hadn’t been looking. “You met him today and you’re already a love struck fool,” Hyunjin teased as Seungmin snickered. Chan glared at the two of them in disdain, shaking his head and pulling himself together.

 

Hyunjin and Chan went home an hour later, the group watching a few episodes of an anime before bidding their farewells. Not without cheek kisses though. Oh no. Minho didn’t let his hyung leave until he got two cheek kisses and a forehead kiss that were specially delivered for ‘Channie Hyung.’ Minho made it a little less awkward and gave Hyunjin a kiss on the forehead too but Hyunjin was far more relaxed when receiving it. The poor boy had to practically drag Chan away before Minho got jumped and recieved some of his own kisses.

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **So I didn’t know you knew sign language. How did you learn?**

 

 **_Jinnie:_ ** **My cousin is deaf so I learned to communicate with her**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **Well, thank you. It’s nice to talk to someone other than Minho.**

 **_Minnie:_ ** **Don’t tell him I said that please**

 

 **_Jinnie:_ ** **Sit with me during lunch and you have a deal.**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **But what about your friends?**

 

 **_Jinnie:_ ** **tbh the only people that matter to me in that group is Jisung, Woojin and Changbin and it shouldn’t be hard to convince them. Jisung loves everyones, Woojin is chill with you and Changbin… Whatever the fuck is going on with him and Felix.**

 

 **_Minnie:_ ** **oh**

 **_Minnie:_ ** **Are they a thing?**

 

 **_Jinnie:_ ** **I hope so. They’re cute.**

 **_Jinnie:_ ** **Anyways, don’t worry Seungminnie, I’ll come find you tomorrow :)**

  
  
  


Hyunjin and Seungmin became close after that; two peas in a pod, attached at the hip, soulmates in Chan’s words. The two were inseparable and that’s all anyone needed to know. With their new found friendship, Hyunjin was undeniably protective over Seungmin and that served to be an issue because Hyunjin was ready to fight anyone and everyone in Seungmin’s honor. Ironically, Seungmin seemed to be the only one who could calm him down too, but this time… this time was entirely different.

 

Now, the two weren’t entirely foreign to _those_ jokes. The gay ones where they teased them about being boyfriends. They weren’t new to it and yeah they didn’t like it, but they had to ignore it for now. It would be stupid of them to draw that kind of attention to themselves. So, they always just went about their merry way after denying it and throwing a few snide comments. But today… one of them decided they really wanted to lay a hand on Seungmin and all Hyunjin had seen was red.

 

One moment, a hand clasped around Seungmin’s wrist tightly and drew a yelp from the presumed mute, but the next moment, the owner of the hand was pinned to the ground by the waist with Hyunjin on top of him and throwing punches into his nose. “Who the fuck are you to touch him?” Hyunjin screeched, but the person underneath him rolled them over so now Hyunjin was on the bottom and Jackson Wang had him pinned down.

“Me. The straightest guy to ever walk.” The boy snarled but Hyunjin rolled his eyes and took one punch in the lip before throwing Jackson off and dragging him to the locker and kicking him in both the balls and the guts.

 

“I’ll be sure to tell Mark that you said that next time I see him,” Hyunjin hummed, his knuckles making impact with the locker when Jackson ducked and shoved him away.

 

“Do you not want anybody else touching your precious boyfriend, Hwang? Want the mute all to yourself like the little freak you are?” That seemed to be Hyunjin’s breaking point because the boy gripped Jackson by the shoulders and twirled him around so his face was pinned against the locker, tangling his fingers in his hair.

 

“Maybe I don’t Wang. Maybe I don’t want him to be mistreated. We’re not boyfriends but even if we were, what’s so wrong about that? How the fuck does it affect you?” With every question, Hyunjin smashed Jackson’s face into the locker, no doubt breaking his nose and a few teeth. Jackson didn’t answer. “Oohh, so cat’s got your tongue now does it? Someone finally fights back and you’re losing,” Hyunjin patronized him with a light, sickenly sweet tone.  

 

Everyone was watching them but the only person that mattered was Seungmin and the absolute fear in his eyes was enough to have Hyunjin back off. The younger huffed after looking at Seungmin and slung Jackson to the ground. “Leave us alone, Wang or so help me god,” Hyunjin hissed and stormed off, right off of school campus.

 

Seungmin was quick to follow, not wanting to leave Hyunjin alone when he was in such a state of anger. But Hyunjin was walking too damn fast and Seungmin couldn’t exactly call out out to him so he looked around. There was a good sized pebble by his foot so he bent down and juggled it in his hand for a moment before throwing it in Hyunjin’s direction. The rock hit Hyunjin square on the back of the head and Hyunjin whirled around so fast he wasn’t sure how he didn’t get a second of dizziness. Hyunjin was ready to yell but when he saw Seungmin, his anger simmered down a few levels.

 

The mute looked irritated and afraid; a combination that Hyunjin never wanted to see on his face again. Seungmin approached Hyunjin, hands coming out to lightly grip his already bruising face. Seungmin studied his injuries with a pout, thumbing at the slightly more swollen bottom lip. Blood coated his finger prints, Seungmin staring at his thumb with wobbly lips. Hyunjin yelped when Seungmin looked up with fire in his eyes and gripped him by the collar before dragging him in the opposite direction.

 

They walked for a while, Hyunjin managing to convince Seungmin to let go of his collar and hold his hand instead. Hyunjin hadn’t expected to come were they had, deep into the poverty of town. Hyunjin was rather concerned that Seungmin seemed to know this place like the back of his hand, but flashbacks to the duffel bag, dirty, bloodied clothes and scars on his body snapped him back into reality. Seungmin was a guy who had been through hell and back and Hyunjin knew the mute could take care of himself. He had proved it with the kid he targeted a month ago. But that didn’t seem to stop Hyunjin in the slightest when he dragged Seungmin closer, sneakily linking their arms. However, the younger unlinked their arms and stared at Hyunjin with a certain concerned sternness. Seungmin signed what he needed to with a small smile, trying his best to reassure “We can’t be seen like that here. Keep close but no contact.”

 

So, Hyunjin kept his distance. He understood why Seungmin might be concerned about being public here, especially when multiple came up to him and said hello, asking where he was and why he was back with someone none of them knew. Seungmin always just stared at them blankly, answering with basic hand motions and forcing Hyunjin to talk to these people he had never even _seen_ before. However, the deeper they come across a presumably abandoned apartment complex, the Seungmin the school knew came out and it was scary. This was the serious, apathetic Seungmin. The one who didn’t touch or look in another’s direction. The one who seems as though they could kill anyone in just a few short seconds.

** _This had been Kim Seungmin, the mute._ **

 

The two climbed the stairs of the complex quietly, Seungmin keeping his face blank as he approached a green, chipped and stained door. Seungmin didn’t try to unlock the door right away. He checked through the windows to make sure his mother wasn’t home before reaching up and grabbing the key that was taped to the top of the doorway. Oh how happy he was to know that the key hadn’t been moved.

 

When Seungmin opened the door, he was surprised to see that the place looked practically untouched from the time he had left. The kitchen counters were still hoarding medicine bottles with names on them Seungmin didn’t recognize. Alcohol bottles were scattered about along with syringes and clothes. The walls still had dents and cracks that Seungmin knew every single story to and the ceilings still have water and mold spots. The place was disgusting, absolutely disgusting. “Should I be touching anything here?” Hyunjin murmured. Seungmin shook his head. The elder nodded and muttered curse words under his breath. Surely Seungmin didn’t live here before. Surely not.

  


Hyunjin felt his heart drop when they come up to a small room, too small to be livable. The twin bed inside took up half of the room, a desk at the far left corner that touched the foot of the bed. Both items of furniture were covered in clothes and papers and just over all junk. It was heartbreaking, enough to produce tears. “Minnie...p-please tell me you d-didn’t live here.” The soft side of Seungmin returned, the teenager whirling around and gently taking Hyunjin’s face in his hands to pepper kisses along the bridge of his nose. Seungmin shushed Hyunjin’s labored, shaky breathing, being sure to never stop making contact with Hyunjin. Seungmin didn’t deny his stay here and that only seemed to make everything worse. Arms twined around Seungmin’s waist and he was pulled right into Hyunjin’s body.

 

They rocked back and forth gently, just enjoying the warmth of the other before Seungmin realized that he had been here for a reason and that he had things to attend to. So, he pulled himself away gently with a few pats to Hyunjin’s cheeks and a reassuring smile. Hyunjin sniffled once and hugged himself as he looked anywhere but Seungmin. He wasn’t supposed to get emotional over something like that, much less around the boy he had become increasingly infatuated over; it didn’t sit well with him.

 

Items flew all around them as Seungmin looked for a first aid kit that he kept hidden away so his mother didn’t use the medicine inside. Thankfully when Seungmin found it, everything was still intact and a breath of relief escaped past his lips. The boy thought that since he was here, he could grab the rest of his things, signing that to the elder. Hyunjin nodded feverishly and started looking around for extra bags or boxes, helping the younger sort everything neatly into two boxes and two backpacks. Despite the very small room, Seungmin had a lot in there and it was a miracle they fit everything inside.

 

Suddenly, the front door unlocked and banged open with an echoing thud. Seungmin’s eyes widened in fear and he rushed over to the window, box and bag in hand. The boy opened it with a squeak, ushering Hyunjin to step forward, Both taped boxes went flying out the two story window along with the bags, Seungmin one foot out the window when Hyunjin grabbed his arm in fear. “What the fuck, Seungmin?” Hyunjin hissed quietly, looking more fearful than angry. The look in Seungmin’s eyes was almost enough but not quite, Hyunjin creeping closer.

 

The younger gripped Hyunjin by the face, uttering words that he never thought he’d say; because well, he never thought he would speak.

 

_“Do you trust me?”_

 

Many stories hung in the air about that afternoon. Some believed that that had been the start of Hyunjin’s and Seungmin’s relationship because Hyunjin was believed to answer Seungmin with a kiss. Others believed the two were caught by his mother and had to fight their way out due to one of her boyfriends being there. The only thing that was ultimately clear about that night was that when they had gotten back to the apartments after walking around aimlessly, they stumbled onto a new, thriving couple.

 

Unfortunately for the teens, they stepped inside only to back track immediately at the sight of Chan and Minho locking lips. Chan had been pinned to the couch at the waist by Minho’s thighs, arms rung tight around Minho’s petite torso as the younger gripped him at the cheeks. It was obviously heated and the two winced at the idea of them walking in a little bit later. Minho and Chan broke apart with a yelp, Minho accidentally biting down on Chan’s lower lip and drawing blood. “Shit!” Chan yelped, hand flying to his lips.

 

Hyunjin and Seungmin broke out into loud laughter, Minho giggling as he tried to drag Chan’s hands away. The skin was busted and swollen and Minho almost felt bad. _Almost_. “Maybe kiss it better instead of laughing?” Chan smirked, cocking his head to the side Minho snickered and grabbed him by the cheeks and pecked him. Hyunjin shrieked and covered Seungmin’s eyes, hissing out something about the children before ushering them both to the bathroom, boxes long forgotten.

 

Luckily, Seungmin had the first aid kit tucked underneath his arm before Hyunjin dragged him away and didn’t have to go back out and get it. Seungmin patted the sink counter two times before he set the kit down and grabbed bandages and alcohol soaked cotton swabs. Hyunjin jumped up without hesitation and stared at Seungmin, watching his every move with a certain fondness that the younger wasn’t used to. Seungmin cleaned Hyunjin’s wounds, eyes never straying too far. However, his eyes accidently flickered up to the elder’s and his breath caught in his throat. “Come closer,” Hyunjin urged, wrapping his hanging legs around Seungmin’s waist and dragging him closer. Seungmin let out a choked sound at the sudden shift, Hyunjin chuckling lowley and draping his arms over Seungmin’s shoulders.

 

They stared at each other for a moment, inching closer and closer. Their breaths mingled lightly as their lips were incredibly close to making contact. However, a sudden bang came from the lounge and Chan’s and Minho’s loud laughs followed and snapped the two out of their daze. Seungmin jumped away, nearly falling to the floor but Hyunjin had him gripped by the collar and kept him stabilized. The two shared a breathy laugh and acted as if they hadn’t almost crossed that line between a friendship and something more with a kiss.

  
  


The almost kiss was seemingly forgotten. Of course, the two thought about it almost every day but they continued to act platonically, with only a few minor slip ups here and there. They had actually gotten extremely touchy, almost to the point where everyone wondered if they had actually gotten together and just hadn’t said anything. But alas, the two were still pining and tip toeing around the other.

 

One day, a month or so after the whole ordeal, Seungmin stumbled upon something rather… interesting. Seungmin still received notes daily from the mysterious writer and the writer hadn’t given indication on who it could be so Seungmin had pretty much already given up on finding out who it is. Until, he found Hwang Hyunjin at his locker, stuffing a folded piece of paper into the metal slits.

 

Seungmin had been dropping off a book in the library for Mr. Min when he rounded the corner and saw it all. Hyunjin looked around carefully before digging out the purple piece of paper he always wrote on and stuffing it into Seungmin’s locker. Hyunjin hadn’t realized that someone had creeped up on him until he was grabbed by the back of the collar and whirled around so his back met the cool metal.

 

His breath came out in heavy pants, eyes wide when he came face to face with Kim Seungmin himself. Seungmin hadn’t been touching Hyunjin, but due to the close proximity between the two, Hyunjin felt like he was already pinned against it. Seungmin studied him with curious eyes, trying to figure out why he had been so dumb as to realize that the person was Hyunjin, and why the fuck he was so intrigued by Seungmin.

 

It had only clicked in his brain that Hyunjin liked him back when the boy began to stumble, “Seungminnie, I-I can explain!” But the younger just stared, signing ‘so it was you?’

 

Hyunjin squeezed his eyes shut, lips wobbling as he slowly nodded his head, hanging it in shame. A fond smile spread over Seungmin’s lips, unknown to Hyunjin, and grabbed the elder by the cheeks softly. Hyunjin flickered his eyes up, shock evident in his innocent orbs. The younger stroked his thumb along Hyunjin’s cheekbones, inching close. “Minnie… Please.” That had been the only sort of confirmation Seungmin needed before pressing their lips together.

 

It was awkward, but endearing. They didn’t really know what they were doing and just going with the flow. But that didn’t keep their heads stabilized as they literally felt like they were spinning like a ferris wheel. They would separate for a few moments to catch their breath, but the moment Seungmin sighed, Hyunjin was done for. He tugged Seungmin back in by the collar and slipped his tongue into the elder boys mouth. It was entirely intoxicating.

 

They broke away at the sound of footsteps, snapping their heads around to see Seo Changbin. The eldest of the three glanced at them knowingly, approaching them. “Listen, I get the whole wanting to see each other thing but at least keep the making out in the janitor's closet or something. Be smart.” Changbin shook his head with amusement and walked away before either one of them could say a word. The two glanced at each other shyly, a blush blooming on their cheeks and a large smile to match.

 

Seungmin giggled and shifted closer, pecking Hyunjin on the lips twice before walking away, hands slipping down Hyunjin’s arm. The elder just watched after him, heart pounding and breathing heavy. It was hard to believe that that had happened after so much mindless pining and letters.

 

———————————————-

  


Seungmin didn’t like how drastically his life changed within just a few months. Hyunjin had asked him to be his boyfriend two days after they kissed and they were peaceful and content in their relationship. It seemed as though nothing truly changed, the touchiness only intensified but that seemed to be it. They were already close and deep within the other so this didn’t seem like such a big change to each other.

 

They were happy.

 

But the impact they had was far bigger than they realized; it only truly coming to light on March 26, two months before graduation.

 

The night was relatively normal. Minho came home from work, kissed Seungmin on the forehead and proceeded to change into more comfortable clothes while Seungmin headed into work and came home to a fresh dinner and a movie ready to go once he ate. Minho and him had a schedule and it worked beautifully. However, that schedule had been interrupted when feverish knocks came at the front door, the two boys sharing a look. Minho paused the movie as Seungmin set his bowl down on the coffee table, the elder deciding to open the door.

 

There, in the doorway of their small apartment, was a beaten down Hyunjin with torn clothes and a duffle bag thrown over his shoulder. Minho’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head as he ushered Hyunjin inside, practically shoving him in Seungmin’s direction. The younger stared, gaze blank and unmoving. He knew he had to snap out of it; he had to stop seeing his old self in Hyunjin when the boy needed his love and comfort. Seungmin lunged forward, wrapping his palms around Hyunjin’s fingers and running his thumb along his jawline.

 

“H-he found out-”

 

The only downside to Seungmin’s relationship with Hyunjin was that they had to sneak around. Hyunjin’s parents were extremely homophobic, especially his father, and Hyunjin was lucky he didn’t get killed tonight. Seungmin immediately brought Hyunjin close to his chest, letting the elder shrink down and burst into tears. Seungmin let him cry and weep, knowing he just needed someone right now to just hold him. His mother hadn’t accepted him and always tried to get him to admit that he had been doing it for attention. He understood.

 

Seungmin didn’t realize that Minho was leaving until he saw him with his coat and phone, kissing them both on the foreheads. “It’ll be okay Jinnie. You can stay as long as you like.” Hyunjin couldn’t help but bring Minho in for a tight hug, unable to express his gratitude through words but Minho had gotten the message either way. “I’m going to leave you two alone for a bit, yeah? Call me if you need anything.”

 

The front door shut with a soft click, leaving them in a silence occasionally broken by a choked sob or sniffle. Hyunjin had cried for a while, just letting the tears rush and rock back and forth with Seungmin’s body. The two managed to mosey their way to the bathroom where Seungmin could clean Hyunjin’s wounds, sitting him down on the toilet lid. Hyunjin’s lip was busted, cheek cut and bruised, a black eye was beginning to form, and based on the limp in Hyunjin’s step, his body was no doubt covered in bruises as well. When Seungmin wasn’t cleaning Hyunjin’s wounds, the elder rested his head on his stomach, sometimes his side depending on where the mute had been at the time, but Hyunjin never lost contact with the boy.

 

Seungmin didn’t say anything, he couldn’t. Seungmin didn’t believe in words to show comfort, actions speaking louder. The boy motioned for Hyunjin to remove his shirt and the boy was hesitant at first but complied. Shivers ran down Hyunjin’s spine, skin covered in goosebumps when Seungmin lowered himself down into his lap and kissed along the boy’s shoulders in comfort. The younger’s kisses traveled across both of his shoulders, up his neck and along his jawline, trying to become something to lean on for Hyunjin.

 

From his jawline, they traveled to his cheekbones, brows and the bridge of his nose, giving a gentle, half massage to the boys aching face. Hyunjin let a few tears fall at the feeling, unable to explain how much he truly cared and loved this boy. So, he twined his arms around Seungmin’s waist and pressed their lips together. It was slow, not at all rushed in any form. It wasn’t meant to be heated or lust ridden. It was entirely raw and filled with the words he couldn’t say. They broke away with heavy pants, Seungmin coughing and backing away slightly so he could clean up the cuts littered about on Hyunjin’s torso.

 

‘Go lay down,’ Seungmin ordered with his hands once he finished. Hyunjin nodded and grabbed for his shirt before leaving, escaping into the bedroom. Seungmin slowly put away the bottles and bandages, throwing away the bloodied rags and cotton swabs in the trash. He caught his eyes in the mirror, his breath catching in his throat. When Hyunjin came in tonight, Seungmin saw himself in Hyunjin. He saw his old self etched in every curve and bone of Hyunjin’s form. He saw the boy who was beaten by his mother’s boyfriends for not talking. He saw a boy who looked completely and utterly defeated. He saw a boy who was abandoned by those who were supposed to love him.

 

Seungmin tore himself away from the sink, stumbling into the bedroom and ripping off his clothes until he was in a white shirt and baggy boxer briefs. Hyunjin was curled up under the blankets, facing the spot Seungmin was supposed to be lying in. Seungmin crawled in beside him, letting Hyunjin cradle his body close to the elder’s chest and stroke the back of his shoulder and head. They laid in a comfortable silence, Hyunjin breaking it after an hour or so.

 

“You’re kind of the only reason I’m still in town. I debated leaving after he kicked me out, but I couldn’t leave you.” Hyunjin’s voice was weak and for the first time in a long time, Seungmin spoke more than five words.

 

“Let’s leave then. After graduation we can leave and go wherever you want.” A sob racked Hyunjin’s bones, the boy tugging Seungmin even tighter into his body. “We can start saving money. I have a good amount put back and I just got promoted.” As selfish as it sounded, Hyunjin wanted Seungmin to keep talking. His voice, while a little tight after not using it for so long was like honey to him.

 

“That… That sounds amazing.”

 

“I’m glad.”

  
  


Graduation came around quicker than they had expected. The ceremony was short and sweet, but the two’s nerves were on high alert during the entire hour. When they met up outside of the dressing rooms, the nerves seemed to seep away. They were going to be together through this, even if they didn’t last romantically. They had each other’s backs and that was enough for both of them to go through with this.

 

They linked fingers, diplomas tucked under their arms as they made their way out to Hyunjin’s car, the vehicle already packed. However, what they hadn’t expected, was to see two other cars and seven figures already crowded around it, laughing and goofing around. The nerves and anxiety set back in.

 

“Ah! They finally arrived!” Jisung screeched, barreling towards the couple and bringing them both into a tight hug. Laughs erupted between the three, no one able to hold in the giddiness that Jisung gave them. “So, where are we headed?” Jisung through an arm around Seungmin, eyeing him cheekily, the couples blood running cold.

 

“H-Home probably.” Hyunjin stuttered out nervously. Felix cocked his head to the side in curiosity.

 

“Oh? Did you guys forget something or..?”

 

Hyunjin and Seungmin shared a look. What were they talking about?

 

“Oh my god, you guys are so dumb. Did you honestly think we were gonna let you leave without us? We’re a team for christs sake!” Jeongin suddenly wailed, flailing his arms about in the air. Seungmin fell to his knees and broke down into genuine, heart wrenching tears.

 

Seungmin had never had a team, _a family._ No one cared about him, that’s not how his life was supposed to be. People didn’t care for the apathetic mute who was rude to everyone. But in that moment, Seungmin realized that his fate was different. The stars had been rewritten so his name was alongside eight others.

 

And as the nine drove into the night with whoops and hollers, a new destination in mind, Hyunjin basked in his life; in Seungmin. The boy had been singing carelessly along to the music, dancing in the car seat as Jisung took pictures of them and Jeongin sung along just as loudly. Hyunjin had the pleasure of getting to know and love this smiley, playful boy.

 

**_This_ ** **had been Kim Seungmin, the boy Hwang Hyunjin completely fell in love with.**

  
[Moodboard](https://twitter.com/atumun15/status/979178747193589761)


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